This was my best Christmas present!

There are many kinds of presents that one can receive over the holidays, and I'll touch on this in a journal later, but the best present that I received this year was the look on my son's face when he opened his "big present" from me this year, one that he had really wanted.

He had already received a bunch of presents, including a very cool multi-function watch that he had really wanted, and thought that it had been his big present. But then I told him to open an unwrapped plain cardboard box.

Do you remember the movie "A Christmas Story" where Ralphie's dad told told him to check behind the couch for another present?

Could this be it?

This was something that he really wanted, but I held back on it, saving it for last... a new FujiFilm FinePix S700 digital camera.

I had already figured out that he would be right out the door, taking photos of everything in sight... and that's exactly what happened, as you can see in the sequence of photos in the link.

As noted before, it was the best present that I received this year!

Oh, No! Not Elmo!

Toy-maker Fisher-Price is recalling Elmo and many of his friends, including the Big Bird, Dora the Explorer and Diego - 83 types of toys in all. It turns out that their paint contains excessive amounts of lead.

Please note that the Elmo shown in the illustration here is a composite, and does not indicate that this particular mode is being recalled.

This global recall was announced Thursday 8/2/2007, and involves almost a million plastic preschool toys made by a Chinese vendor and sold in the United States between May and August. It is the latest in a wave of recalls that has heightened global concern about the safety of Chinese-made products. This is the the first for Fisher-Price and its parent company Mattel Inc. involving lead paint. Children's products found to have more than .06 percent lead accessible to users are subject to a recall under the current regulations.

It is the largest recall for Mattel since 1998 when Fisher-Price recalled and pulled about 10 million Power Wheels right from toy stores.

This was detected by a Fisher-Price internal probe and then reported to the Consumer Product Safety Commission. Mattel is legendary for its strict quality controls, and this recall is particularly alarming since it is considered a role model in the toy industry for how it operates in China.

Statements were issued Wednesday by Fisher-Price and the CPSC stating that parents need to keep toys in question away from children and contact the company. The CPSC works with companies to issue recalls when it finds consumer goods that can be harmful.

According to Fisher-Price, this recall was troubling because Fisher-Price has had a long-standing relationship with the Chinese vendor, which had applied decorative paint to the toys in question. It was stated that the company would use this recall as an opportunity to put even better systems in place to monitor vendors whose conduct does not meet Mattel's tight standards.

This recall allowed the company to quarantine two-thirds of the toys before they even made it to store shelves. In negotiating details of the recall, Fisher-Price and the government sought to withhold details from the public until Thursday to give stores time to get suspect toys off shelves and Fisher-Price time to get its recall hot line up and running. However, some news organizations have prematurely posted an embargoed version of the story online, and some of there were stated to have been in the public interest.

To see pictures of the recalled toys, visit http://www.service.mattel.com or their Mattel Customer Relations Answer Center. One of the links below may help to provide additional information as well. If you find that you own a recalled toy, it can be exchanged for a voucher for another product of the same value. For more information, call Mattel's recall hot line at 800-916-4498.

Again, please note that the Elmo toy on this page is a composite illustration, and does not indicate that this particular model is being recalled.

Official list from U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission

Also see current CPSC Recent Recalls 

Additional updated info may be found here.

Technorati Tags: elmo, big bird, dora the explorer, fisher-price, mattel, lexidiem, jargontalk, recall, chinese imports, consumer products safety, cspc, no pule zone

Did you receive a message like this?

PASS THIS ON IT MAY SAVE A LIFE !!!!!!! READ PLEAZ!!!!!
 
Everyone needs to take the time and read this. Just take a break from all your other stupid bulletins about who is gonna die or if your love life will suck for 7 years and be serious and do the right thing. Repost this or you have no soul seriously. A kid needs our help so do the right thing.
 
HI my name is Matt Dawson. I am 23 years old, and I have a large tumor on my brain and severe lung cancer. The doctors say I will die soon if this isn't fixed, and my family can't pay the bills. "The Make A Wish Foundation" has agreed to donate 7 cents for every time this message is reposted. For those of you who repost, I thank you so much. But for those who don't repost it, I will still pray for you. Please, if you are a kind person, have a heart. Please, please, PLEASE REPOST THIS MESSAGE AS "READ PLEASE!"
 
Matt Dawson

Sounds very touching, as lung cancer and brain tumors are tough to deal with.


Did you reply, or pass it on as you were requested to do? 
 
Well, guess what: It's a hoax - you got scammed!
 
This "dying child" appeal first appeared in the Snopes Urban Legend inbox in July 2006 and is simply a reworking of the long-running Amy Bruce e-mail hoax with a different name slapped into the text. Understand this: the Make-A-Wish Foundation® does not participate in chain letter or other direct solicitation wishes, as they state here on their site. They will not donate money to anyone based upon the number of times an online appeal is forwarded via e-mail or posted to message boards. 
 
The Matt Dawson e-mail scam is one of many variants of the same basic hoax, like the one passed around in the name of the American Cancer Society and known as the Little Jessica Mydek hoax. And every time you blindly respond to these, you make yourself look as stupid as the original sender, who is usually laughing at you and the others who answer back, and you piss off the people to whom you pass these things. 
 
Just so you know, the Make-A-Wish Foundation does not assist in getting medical treatment for sick children, but they do work to grant the wishes of youngsters with life-threatening medical conditions. They're about "enriching the human experience with hope, strength, and joy" by helping to create special days for desperately ill children. If you really want to help, just click here to see the many ways that you can help make a difference, even by shopping. And until 9/1/2007, LAY’S Potato Chips will donate 25¢ (US $0.25) to the Make-A-Wish Foundation for every specially marked LAY’S Potato Chip bag that you redeem.
If you're not sure that the e-mail you received is a hoax or not, check one of these legitimate sites, many of which also deal with general Internet security:

• Hoaxbusters
  CIAC Internet Hoax and Chain Letter pages, since February 1995. Excellent resource.
• Hoax-Slayer.com
  Their newsletter keeps you informed about the latest email hoaxes and current Internet scams. 
• TruthOrFiction.com
  Check out rumors, inspirational stories, virus warnings, humorous tales, pleas for help, urban legends, prayer requests and calls to action.
• Symantec's Threat Explorer
  From the people who publish Norton Anti-Virus.
• Urban Legends - Snopes.com
  Locate and identify whether that piece of e-mail you've received is a hoax, the truth, or something in between.
• Google Search - e-mail hoaxes
  Over 90,000 pages regarding e-mail hoaxes and scams, if the ones above can't help.

If you really want to help all of the Matt Dawson's of the world, volunteer your time and talents, donate frequent flier miles, go shopping, donate computer equipment, or eat more Lays potato chips (at 25¢ per bag). But in any case, please just stop causing the Make-A-Wish Foundation to look like a scam outfit. 
 
And stop pissing people off by forwarding crap like the Matt Dawson e-mail hoax!

Technorati tags: Matt Dawson, dying child, urban legend, e-mail hoax, scam, Make-A-Wish, LAY’S Potato Chips, Google, Hoaxbusters, Hoax-Slayer, Truth Or Fiction, Symantec, Snopes, American Cancer Society, Jessica Mydek, Lexidiem, JargonTalk, Buzznet

Why does the price we pay for eliminating hatred and evil seem so steep?

Do you remember the late actor Richard Harris? You might remember him as Albus Dumbledore in the first two Harry Potter movies. If you're older, you might also remember him as the Englishman in A Man Called Horse, or for his role in the Broadway production (and subsequent London revival) of the musical Camelot. There was a time, however, that he was known as much as a singer as he was for his acting roles, and he made the Billboard Singles Charts on six occasions, starting with "MacArthur Park" in 1968. 

One of the other times was in 1972, when he released "There Are Too Many Saviors on My Cross", more of a narrative poem set to music than anything. It was found on his LP entitled His Greatest Performances. It came from a poem of the same name published in the only poetry book Harris ever wrote, I, In The Membership of My Days, which was also published in 1972. The various place names, the "Orange" and the "Green," and the fact that Harris was Irish, make it obvious his specific subject was the bitter conflict between Protestant (orange) and Catholic (green) in Northern Ireland. He spoke out quite frequently on his frustrations with that conflict, which had spawned so much hatred and taken so many lives, and mostly in the apparent name of religious differences.

Like all great poetry though, it rings true in a much broader context.

There Are Too Many Saviors on My Cross
Written & performed by Richard Harris.

There are too many saviors on my cross,
lending their blood
to flood out my ballot box
with needs of their own.
Who put you there?
Who
told you that was your place?
 
You carry me secretly naked in your heart,
and clothe me publicly in armor,
crying God is on our side.
Yet
I openly cry
who is on mine?
Who?
You who bury your sons and cripple your fathers,
whilst you bury my Father in crippling his son.
 
The antiquated Saxon sword,
rusty in its scabbard of time now rises.
You gave it cause in my name
bringing shame to the thorned head
that once bled for your salvation.
 
I hear your daily cries
in the far-off byways in your mouth
pointing
north and south,
and my cavalry looms again,
desperate
in rebirth.
Your earth is partitioned,
but in contrition
it is the partition in your hearts
that you must abolish.
 
You
nightly watchers of Gethsemane,
who sat through my nightly trial,
delivering me from evil,
now deserted.
I watch you share your silver,
your purse rich in hate,
bleeds my veins of love,
shattering my bone
in the dust of the Bogside and the Shankhill Road. 
 
There is no issue stronger
than the tissue of love,
no need
as holy
as the palm outstretched
in the run of generosity;
no monstrosity greater
than the acre you inflict 
 
Who gave you the right to increase your fold, 
and decrease the pastors of my flock?
Who gave you the right?
Who gave it to you?
Who?
And in whose name do you fight?
 
I am not in heaven,
I am here, hear me.
I am in you, feel me.
I am of you, be me.
I am with you, see me.
I am for you, need me.
I am all mankind.
Only through kindness,
will you reach me. 
 
What masked
and bannered men
can rock the ark
and navigate a course
to their anointed kingdom come?
Who sailed their captain
to waters
that they troubled in my font,
sinking in the ignorant seas of prejudice. 
 
There is no virgin willing
to conceive in the heat
of any bloody Sunday.
You crippled children,
lying in cries
on Derry's streets,
pushing your innocence
to the full flush face
of Christian guns
(battling the blame on each other).
Do not grow tongues
in your dying dumb wounds speaking my name;
I am not your prize.
In your death,
you have exorcised me in your game of politics. 
 
Go home to your knees,
and worship me in any cloth,
as I was never tailor-made.
Who told you I was?
Who gave you the right to think it?
Take your beads
in your crippled hands;
can you count my decades?
Take my love in your crippled hearts;
can you count the loss? 
 
I am not Orange,
I am not Green;
I am a half-ripe fruit
needing both colors
to grow into ripeness.
Shame on you to have withered my orchard.
I
in my poverty
alone
without trust
cry
shame on you!
Shame on you again and again,
for
converting me into a bullet,
and shooting me into men's hearts. 
 
The ageless legend of my trial grows old
in the youth of your pulse,
staggering shamelessly from barricade to grave,
filing in the book of history.
My needless death one April 
let me,
in my betrayal,
lie low in my grave,
and you in your bitterness
lie low in yours,
for our measurements grow strangely dissimilar. 
 
Our Father, who art in heaven,
sullied be thy name!

By Richard Harris, from I, In The Membership of My Days, Random House, New York, 1972

This entry was also published on Buzznet, but in a slightly different format.

Update: The song referenced above is now available in a new Richard Harris reissue called My Boy/Slides.

tags: Richard Harris, Too Many Saviors, Greatest Hits, Dumbledore, Harry Potter, Ireland, Lexidiem, JargonTalk, Buzznet, Camelot, A Man Called Horse, My Boy

Sex sells, that's all there is to it.

Let's face it, advertising dominates our lives. Everywhere we turn someone somewhere is urging us to buy, lease or rent something else. And there's nothing wrong with that, because as the quality of advertising goes up, we can be more selective and discriminating about what we purchase. One of the most powerful motives in advertising is sex, and though often overused, sex sells. 
 
A good example is here: Sex on Lake Balaton? Just rock my boat! 

Recently Magyar Turizmus Rt, the official Hungarian tourism authority, introduced an unusual advertising campaign. Through emails and Web links, they released a brief cartoon video depicting a couple doing the wild thing in a rowboat on Lake Balaton. The rather humorous animated video, set to a popular local '80s song, shows the woman taking off her bra to the obvious pleasure of the man. They do what comes naturally (with two little cartoon bees accompanying them throughout their tryst) and as they lay in the boat afterwards in post-coital ecstasy, the tourist is shown hiding his wedding ring as the blonde gazes loving at him. This cartoon should be probably be rated about PG-13, though there are television ads here in the US that are probably more sensual in content. 

We could call it "Trolling for Tourism." 

Without creating a massive dissertation on the subject of sex in advertising, all we want to present here is a few interesting examples. The Blush shopping bag is a good example of how easily sexy can be witty as well. 

But does everyone agree? In a posting entitled The Ad Industry Is Addicted to Sex, the Adrants blog recently stated that: "Noting there are far more ads that feature scantily clad women then scantily clad men, one might argue there's a tremendous unfairness going on. True, perhaps, but all one has to do is take a quick look at that industry that knows more about human nature than any marketer ever will, the porn industry. It's focused almost entirely towards men. Why? Because men want it. Men like it. Men need it. Men are attracted to it. The exact same way men are attracted to sexually laced advertising. The approach doesn't always make a great ad but, all other strategies aside, it is most certainly a powerful motivator."

In another posting, Adrants noted that at a recent poker expo held in Las Vegas, one poker site had a booth with "a collection of lingerie-clad models giving pillow fights to anyone who wanted to hop on the bed with them." They actually video taped it for those who wanted, and at last count, there were over 300 such videos viewable on the 'Net. 

The following is from Jargontalk: Another Perspective 

There's no doubt about it, Cheryl Shuman has a good understanding of the value (and methods) of self-promotion, that's for sure.  She is always on a roll, and in this case has put all of her extensive marketing experience behind a very interesting print ad.

Her approach is straightforward: FedEx was told they'd never make an overnight delivery service work.  Amazon was told they'd never make online retailing work.  BMW's Formula One team was told they'd never make a car that rivals Ferrari. Every one of these companies was told that what they hoped to accomplish was impossible. In every single case, they proved the skeptics wrong.

It all started with family secrets. I believe that I am living proof of that which does not kill us only serves to make us stronger.
— Cheryl Shuman

Ms. Shuman's story is a true rags-to-riches tale. She can sometimes be a bit controversial, as anyone who has watched prime-time television over the years knows. She's a beautiful woman, but beyond that she is amazingly resilient, and whatever venture she decides to pursue will probably be profitable, entertaining and worth watching. 

See this video of her perfect day.

Also see: Cheryl Shuman's Starry Eyes' View of Hollywood and the Jetset

Technorati tags: Adrants, advertising, blog, blush, Cheryl Shuman, controversy, Hollywood, In Crowd, jargontalk, jet set, lexidiem, news, optician, promotion, self promotion, sex, sexy, stars, video, vlog, YouTube 

Revised 8/10/2006

"Detective Bart Lasiter was in his office studying the light from his one small window falling on his super burrito when the door swung open to reveal a woman whose body said you've had your last burrito for a while, whose face said angels did exist, and whose eyes said she could make you dig your own grave and lick the shovel clean."

As she sashayed out of the police station, her high heels clicking a staccato rhythm on the hard tile floor, like a one-armed castanet player in a very bad mariachi band, her ample bosom held in check only by a diaphanous blouse, and bouncing at each step like a 1959 tricked out Low-rider Chevy with very good hydraulics---she smiled to herself as she thought of the titillating interrogation from Detective Tipple about the Twin Peaks Melon Heist.

When she sashayed across the room, her breasts swayed like two house trailers passing on a windy bridge.

Although Brandi had been named Valedictorian and the outfit for her speech carefully chosen to prove that beauty and brains could indeed mix, she suddenly regretted her choice of attire, her rain-soaked T-shirt now valiantly engaging in the titanic struggle between the tensile strength of cotton and Newton's first law of motion.

"Best not pester Mr. Buster's sister Hester, blast her, lest her blisters fester," rasped our flustered pastor. 
~ Gwen Fuller, Menlo Park, California
 
After ravaging the pansies, the gastropod turned his attention to the roses: "So many beauties," he sighed, "so little slime." 
~ Mary Anthony, Grand Rapids, Michigan 
 
"You shall bear many children," he toasted, "and feed them with your ample breasts," and I was sure I'd married the right man. 
~ D. Weisman, Boston, Massachusetts

SIX minutes 39 seconds into the Richard Thompson song "Calvary Cross," Mike Pelusi, a music reviewer in Philadelphia, will almost invariably check his cellphone.
 
Minka Wiltz, an actress in Atlanta, has tried to answer her phone to the thrrrrup, thrrrrup, thrrrrup of a truck bouncing down a pothole-pocked street.
 
Others say they thought they heard phones ring while taking a shower, using a blow-dryer or watching commercials. What they are hearing is a barely discernable sound — perhaps chimes, a faint trill or an electronic bleat — that they mistake for the ringtone of their cellphone, which isn't ringing. This audio illusion — called phantom phone rings or, more whimsically, ringxiety or fauxcellarm — has emerged recently as an Internet discussion topic and has become a new reason for people to either bemoan the techno-saturation of modern life or question their sanity.
 
Some sound experts believe that because cellphones have become a fifth limb for many, people now live in a constant state of phone vigilance, and hearing sounds that seem like a telephone's ring can send an expectant brain into action.

What happens when we are in a restaurant and someone's cellphone starts ringing. Ten other people reach their pockets thinking the call belongs to them. Some may even feel embarrassed when they discover that it's not their call. This feeling is becoming so common that psychologist David Laramie has coined a new term to describe it - Rinxiety

He describes Rinxiety as a familiar and unnerving sensation: the false belief that you can hear your mobile phone ringing or vibrating. So when we "hear" an imaginary ring, or think vibrations on a bus are a call, it is the subconscious calculating how popular we are.

There's another related term - phantom ring effect or fauxcellarm - the sensation of hearing your phone ring while you're in the shower, watching commercials or using a blow dryer. People live in a constant state of phone vigilance, and hearing sounds that seem like a telephone's ring can send an expectant brain into action. 

David Laramie of the California School of Professional Psychology is apparently the one who who coined the termed ringxiety, and says he himself is a sufferer.
 
And there's fauxcellarm again, with a slightly different variation on our term, but another good one nonetheless. As far as the other cell-phone related terms mentioned earlier, one might just want to do a search on 'audio illusion,' 'phantom phone tone,' 'pandephonium,' 'ringchronicity,' 'ringxiety,' and (of course) 'fauxcellarm.' You never know what you might find. 
 
Have to go, my cell phone is ringing again... 

Fun with Technorati tags:

• fauxcellarm
• ringxiety
• rinxiety
• pandephonium
• ringchronicity   
• paris hilton cell phone 
• paris hilton ringxiety

Appropriate pics:  

Help you I will!

Well, if anyone could tell me how to add a site (space) search here, I would be grateful!

Am"phi*go*ry, (n.)
A nonsense verse; a rigmarole, with apparent meaning, which on
further attention proves to be meaningless. [Written also
amphigouri.]
Source: Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary (1913), pg. 50

amphigory (AM-fi-gor-ee) (n.), also amphigouri
A nonsensical piece of writing, usually in verse form, typically
composed as a parody.
[From French amphigouri, of obscure origin.]

"More jeers than cheers currently greet the amphigories of Father
Divine, and the followers of kindred dark-town messiahs are noisier
than they are numerous."
~ Mark Gauvreau Judge; Justice to George S. Schuyler; Policy Review (Washington, DC), Aug/Sep 2000.
[Submitted by Anu Garg of wordsmith.org]

amphigoric (AM-fi-GOR-ick) (a.) Nonsensical; absurd; pertaining to an amphigory.

• meaninglessness, lack of meaning, no context, no bearing
• jargon, rigmarole, gobbledygook, psychobabble
• abracadabra, , mumbo jumbo, hocus-pocus
• gibberish, gabble, incoherence, rambling, raving, delirium
• double-talk, mystification, inimportance
• absurdity, inanity, emptiness, triteness, cliché
• mere words, empty words, verbalism
• illogicality, invalidity, dead letter, nullity
• empty sound, meaningless noise 

The last two terms seem to have special meaning when it comes to what we so often find while searching the Internet - almost like saving the best for
last. 

 Technorati Profile 
 
  You are here: 
http://spaces.msn.com/amphigorous/